How to keep your marriage Alive
A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other. This simple quote has a very deep meaning to it! It tells us that perfection does not exist in a marriage, but the process of making it perfect makes it successful.
I have been happily married for 6 years. Unlike majority of the couples we did not plan to start family right away. So we enjoyed the first three years of our marriage as lovers, quite literally. It was a never-ending honeymoon period. And then, one fine day we thought to start a family. We had no idea as to what we were getting into. The baby came and quite unexpectedly our lives did not change. I was shocked, because girls usually become sensitive after having their first baby and expect too much from their husbands. I am lucky, since my husband struck the perfect balance. But this is not the story of every second couple. In fact most of the couples complain that after a few years, they start feeling that their marriage has lost its spark. They feel fed up, resentful and unhappy.
So I thought to come up with few tips that I experienced myself and believe you me, if you apply even half of them, then your marriage will be exemplary. Read the ideas and rejuvenate your relationship RIGHTAWAY!
1-Don’t use cell phone for communication, specifically Whatsapp! You can use cell phone for basic and random communication but if you are feeling some negative emotion towards your partner talk it out face-to-face! Messaging always worsens the situation. You are unable to judge or analyze the tone of your partner and perceive what you want to perceive! So, if you have an issue, talk it out! Communication is the foundation! The more you talk together, the more you learn, and the deeper the relationship grows.
2-Stay friends- start taking your partner as your best friend. By doing so you both would know what you want from the relationship, you will understand your priorities and give leverage to each other. In my case, if sometimes I feel things are not going in the right direction, I actually replace my husband’s name in my mind with that of my close male friend and then analyze the situation. And I end up making a good decision.
3-Enjoy shared goals/hobbies together – this is SO IMPORTANT! The shared goals could be buying dinning set for your dining room, starting a new TV show together, going for a walk together etc. My husband and I always make it a point to start a TV show together. Even though, he is into intense shows such as Game of Thrones, Narcos and I am into the fun ones but we always find a show that we both would like. Breaking Bad is one example! Before that we never knew that we could watch a TV Show with same level of interest.
4-Do something fresh – keep growing and expanding your own life so you bring something new to the partnership – in my case, I once joined Alliance De Francis to learn French. This kept me alive and fresh and in turn my behavior towards my husband became more positive.
5-Schedule exclusive time – In our busy lives, with kids, work and other social responsibilities we forget to spend exclusive time with our partner. For example, if we take some friends out for a dinner, we consider it as part of husband-wife time. NO, that’s not the case. Couples need to have ALONE time. Trust me, even a drive to get run some errands alone, is better than going on a lavish dinner with your kids. Remember it’s the quality not quantity that matters.
6-Apologize when you make a mistake – let pride go out of the window, that’s not important and if you are wrong admit it – say sorry. This will make all the difference to your relationship and speaks volumes about you.
7-You are an individual – add to the relationship not take from it, marriage isn’t a contest, there’s no-one keeping score – you accomplish more together!
I hope you find these tips helpful and can bet that once you apply them in your marriage, you will feel the difference.